There’s an old adage that says the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. This means children inherit specific personality traits from one of their parents and these are wired in. We do not have any control as to which personality /behavioral trait that gets passed down to us, which means we get the good and bad traits in equal measure.
Here are some traits that we could inherit form our parents:
Overthinking
When we overthink, we are thinking too much and too deeply about things. Anybody at some point has done this; but excessive overthinking can often hinder a person from being present in the moment, keeps us from engaging with other people, and can give us sleepless nights.
Unfortunately, parents pass this trait on to their children. To stop this cycle, here are some things that parents should stop doing: hovering over their children, placing your worries on to your child, labelling, taking your child too seriously, and focusing too much on him or her.
Anxiety
Research shows that anxious parents are more likely to have anxious children. But passing anxiety from parent to child is not unpreventable. When parents are able to develop strategies to manage their own stress and anxiety, they can pass this on to their children, helping them manage their own stress too.
Anger/ Temper
Anger is something parents don’t want to see in their children. Anger can manifest in myriad of ways. Parents need to determine what triggers anger in their children and help them manage it.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not motivated by wanting to be perfect; they are motivated by fear. This trait can significantly affect a person’s self-esteem and mental health. To avoid this, parents should allow themselves to make mistakes in front of their children and being calm and positive when it does happen. Allow your children to see you lowering your expectations and being kind to yourself.
People Pleasing
People who people please would do anything to make people happy. More often than not, they take things too far and they become stressed out and anxious. Setting up clear boundaries will go a long way in managing the need to please.
Body Issues
Children mimic what they see and hear from their parents, so parents need to be aware of what they are expressing about their body as the children will pick on it. Complaining about a certain part of the body can be harmful to children. Instead of negative self-talk, try focusing on being healthy.
Conflict Avoidance/Emotional
People avoider conflict because a person doesn’t want to upset people. In the process, they allow others to walk all over them or they deny their feelings just to keep the peace. This can be very dangerous for a child. Parents need to teach their children that it is okay to say no when they are uncomfortable or if they don’t feel right in doing something.
Emotional Avoidance
Keeping emotions bottled up is also known as emotional repression. This could be a defense mechanism as people wants to avoid negative emotions and just focus on the positive. Parents can help their children by letting them talk out painful emotions. It is important that their children learn that negative emotions are natural and it is okay to feel them.
When parents are aware of the negative traits that they can pass on to their children, they can be more proactive in managing these negative traits and thus avoid their children copying these traits.